Are you humble or do you downplay yourself?
#24: Message from Derek + Notes on downplaying, people in percentages, and feedbacks.
Before we begin, can I flex Derek Sivers has enjoyed reading Vikra’s Café?
I wanted him to read my newsletter, so I emailed him with the link. I also thanked him for being an amazing writer, complimented his books, and suggested him a song because he loves music.
His reply 👇
Busy Weeks
Last ten days have been hectic. I hardly had any time to focus on anything else apart from work.
I played less sport, worked out less, and did nothing for self-care. At some point, stress got to me, and I had to rebelliously abandon work for a few hours (only to realize I couldn’t do it for long and needed to get back at it ASAP.)
Somehow, I managed to spend time with friends and watch movies. That kept me sane.
Anyways, things are back to normal.
Or so I thought. I might close a new client this week. If I do, I have to crunch another set of ten days.
Not sure if I have rested enough for it.
But I’ll make sure to play, hang out, and occupy myself with little hobbies.
Anyways, I don’t have any particular topic. So, I’m gonna Brain Dump random thoughts that pop into my head.
Downplaying yourself is not being humble
For some reason we don’t appreciate ourselves enough for our efforts and results accomplished. And for some other strange reason, being confident or embracing success is considered arrogant.
Most people end up saying, “Areyy this is nothing,” “It’s not that big,” or “I have done nothing, it’s all God’s blessing” when you congratulate them.
The same people get offended if you say “You don’t deserve this” on their face.
It’s probably because they know they’ve put some efforts in achieving what they have. Or at least they know it’s not by fluke.
Then why can’t one confidently say thank you and embrace their efforts, journey, and results? Why downplay yourself?
Being humble and downplaying are two different things. Sadly we mistake downplaying for humbleness.
At least from what I observed.
Feedbacks
Yesterday I published Cognition’s 34th issue.
The primary topic was about an email marketing tool, MailChimp. I’ve been using the tool for two months for a client and wanted to review it for any email marketer considering to use the tool.
Within 30 minutes of publishing, Sreekar messaged me, telling:
“I didn’t like the issue”
“It felt like you published just for the sake of publishing”
“I love reading your work because it’s detailed. I felt the details were missing in today’s issue”
“There were no sideheading or clear structure. You could have at least mentioned Pros and Cons”
“Everything else was good. Introduction, Images, Non-Technical Segment, everything”
Now my side of the story:
I had my confusions before I published. I wanted to include a couple of more small topics and present it as a brain dump, but then I was worried it might be long.
I tried the side headings but it didn’t come off well.
…and there were a few more reasons.
But But
As a creator, my job is not to defend myself when a reader (and a friend) shares feedback.
It’s natural to get defensive and not want to look bad, plus give some explanation of why you put things this way, but it’s even more important to just listen to what readers are trying to say.
I tried to understand why he was disappointed. I noted his points. I’ll consider them when I write next.
That’s all I need to do as a creator.
Readers and the quality I deliver are of atmost importance to me.
I take feedbacks seriously. It is important because I am building a content business which runs solely on how much your audience likes your content.
People in Percentages
Maybe because of sports, this came to me at a young age:
To like or dislike a part of a person, but not the complete person.
I don’t like an actor’s personality, but I admire his acting skills. Or I don’t like his acting but I like his dance.
I hate my friend’s anger issues, but I love how she is always there when someone needs her.
I hate my coach’s discipline, but I am in awe of his skill and wisdom.
The point is we are not binary characters.
We are incredible in one facet and totally fucked up in another. The more we understand this, the easier it gets to see people as they are.
Even I am not sure if I totally understand this, but I can say I see some good in 98% people in my life and hardly have any complaints.
Life lately in pictures
How sad it is it I wanted to share some pictures from the last 10 days and I went out only once. Niceeee. 🥲👍🏻
That’s all I have for this week.
I’ll start sending small emails too to build a connection with you—more like one-on-one. So yeah, you might expect an email soon.
See ya next week!
This is incredible. Love the newsletter 🙌
I had met Derek a few months ago - prdo.xyz/sivers I'm glad you had an opportunity to meet him.